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meladoodle:

rodneykong:

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

(via orgasm)

overratedsuicide:

❁ if you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it. Im always here for you ❁

magentamayhem:

i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE

(Source: crystallizedclarity, via g-y-p-s-y-h-e-a-r-t-s)

blankbabe:

we are the last generation whose baby photos weren’t taken on phones

(via wonderless-s)

typical:

stairs-to-nowhere:

typical:

Now that I know Fran’s weakness, I can always use it against her

No fuck you

I like it when you’re feisty. 

drunkdilf:

isn’t it weird to think that most people you know had sex? that cute old lady sitting next to you on the bus? prob choked on a dick at one point in her life

(Source: cyberho, via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)